


when i go

by kittymyg



Category: Not Apart of a Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:13:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26677240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittymyg/pseuds/kittymyg
Summary: TW// suicide noteI am planning on living for another year, please don't worry





	when i go

**Author's Note:**

> TW// suicide note  
> I am planning on living for another year, please don't worry

I don't want to live like this any longer. Simply staying for the ones I love. I don't want to traumatize them, I want to try, but at this point what is trying? Every day I'm consumed with thoughts of ending it. At this point, I don't want to stay. I don't want to stay here any longer. I want to roam the fields of daisies with my dogs, but I don't want to wait for them to come up and see me. Nobody checks up on me, it's not like they'll care. It's not like they'll care if I die. It's not like they'll see my body eventually go. I don't have a date, I just know that I'm going to do it eventually. It's so sad that a thing as beautiful as life can be ended so abruptly. But some of us aren't meant for this world. At what point does the pain consume the human body so much that you can't feel it anymore? I feel so numb. I can't feel.  
I don't cry as often anymore, but when I do I can't stop because it's the only emotion I can feel. Why must I feel like this? Why has this been going on for 6 years? Please... let me live. Let me continue as I wish. Don't make me die before my dogs. Don't make me die. Don't make me die. Please don't make me die. Please. Try for a little longer. Please bear for a little longer.  
I'm remembering my childhood. I'm remembering the pure bliss. It's all gone... it's just a memory now. I miss it. I wasn't supposed to get old. I was supposed to die on that day... I chose the day after all. Why can't I commit to things? I remember my first love, I remember that feeling as if it's just you two and you'll continue on forever. I'm sorry it ended so soon, I'm sorry we can't roam fields of daisies... maybe one day I'll see you on the other side. To my dogs, I love you so much, please please please continue being good girls when I'm gone. Comfort mom, dad, and our brother. Don't miss me too much... it's not worth it. Am I supposed to leave? Am I selfish for wanting to leave? Is it my fault?  
Don't worry... although I might not physically be there I'll be watching with you. Eventually, you won't remember me. That's okay. I just want to be one with the earth. Mix my ashes with a seed.


End file.
